Remaining Calm, Cool, and Collected Even When Being Verbally Thrashed

It is never an easy feat to remain calm when someone is yelling at you. It is even harder to remain calm, collected and cool when they are not only yelling at you but calling you every nasty derogatory word in the dictionary. So you ask yourself “what is the secret to remaining calm, cool and collected in the face of such behavior”? Do not take offense. That is the secret. This is not easy either and it takes a great deal of practice and effort to remind ourselves on a constant daily basis not to take offense in these scenarios. But that is the secret; if they are unable to offend you then you will not react emotionally and irrationally.

Majority of the time they are not angry with you (most of the time they realize they are not but there are rare occasions when they will insist that they are in fact angry with you) but the situation itself. The trick is to take that initial step back, let them rant and rave until they have deflated themselves. Once they get all of the nasty anger off their chest they may find themselves actually able to listen and be reasonable. The next step is not to outline what you are unable to do for them but what you can do for them. Always be positive in these situations. Think of it as approaching a wild animal; do not make any sudden movements. Instead of saying “No we are not able to do that or this” instead say “Here is what I can do for you” and lay it out in a plain step by step fashion.

Of course this is not something that changes overnight and over one phone call. This is habit-forming and takes practice. But as they say practice makes perfect and it is a good skill to learn and master. Remaining calm, cool and collected in your personal and professional life helps you build lasting and positive relationships.  This skill not only helps you defuse potentially disastrous situations at work or on the phone with customers but helps you keep yourself calm and positive in the face of any stressful situation. This could be a skill that is taught in anger management classes but it is a professional skill that anyone working with customers, or patients in any industry would find effective. You will find yourself thinking more positively, smiling more and enjoying the work you do because you are able to positively influence those who call you for help, look to you for guidance and view you as a role model.


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